As you know this week’s parsha has so many ideas it was hard to choose just one. Rather than overwhelm and confuse you with many ideas, I would rather focus on one that can leave us all with a profound lesson for life.
In this week’s parsha it saysויאמר להם הידעתם את לבן בן נחור, ויאמרו ידענו (Yaakov said to them,”do you know Lavan the son of Nachor?” They responded “we know him”.) We all know that Lavan was not the son of Nachor he was the son of Besuel. Rashi in Chayei Sarah, says that Besuel was killed by a malach because he wanted to prevent Rivka from going with Eliezer. One might suggest that that is why he is not mentioned, and Nachor is considered his father.
I heard a different and unique answer from my uncle, Rabbi David Fohrman. He says - if you remember a while ago when Avraham was thrown into the furnace he survived, just his brother Haran who decided to copy his ways, did not merit salvation. Avraham decided to marry Sarai Haran’s daughter. Nachor, Avraham’s other brother saw that Avraham did so, and out of Nachor’s own free will he decided it would be the right thing to mary Milka, Haran’s other daughter. Yaakov heard about this tremendous act of chesed and said to himself “I want someone like this for a wife.”
In conclusion Yaakov wanted a wife with chesed. (Even if lavan didn’t have chesed he had it in his genes.) Yaakov heard about what Nachor did and decide to marry one of his descendants. (Rochel and Leah!)
From Yaakov we can learn that one of the most important things you have to look for in a person is CHESED!
Sabbat Shalom,
Malky Felsen